juliesfavoritestuff

2004-01-18T11:39:00.000-08:00

I am amazed that this sucker is still here, seeing as I haven't written since halloween. I have been so busy I pretty much forgot about the whole blogging thing.

well, I'm moving to Colorado in a week..right now I am putting off doing all the millions of things I have to do before I leave--which is probably why I decieded to write on this blog after a 3 month hiatus. I don't know what to take with me, and I can't really start packing cause I am assuming that I will probably need stuff in the next week...this is not interesting but it's the crap on my mind ...
I can't believe I am finally actually moving....I am really excitied..but it's a strange feeling.I am gonna miss my dog. And people. And my bed. And Jalepenos--my favorite restaurant. But thats all ok, I can live without it, cause I am going to get to live next to mountains and maybe get to go skiing and camping, and meet new people and live in a dorm and pretend it is my freshman year of high school all over again. I could totally reinvent my personality cause no one there will know me. Maybe in Colorado I will be the kind of girl that wears trucker hats. Or I could be a loud and crazy girl, or a sweet innocent quiet girl. I'm pretty sure, though, that I am happy with myself the way I am.......

oh well....back to packing stuff, I guess. Maybe I will actually write about colorado when I get there.

2003-10-29T14:32:00.000-08:00

Halloween costumes are a problem for me. I have gone blank...after trips to the thrift store, the Halloween store, and rummaging through my closet, I am still coming up blank.
well, that isn't completly true. I had this great idea to be a Girl Scout because I still have the shirt and the vest and stuff. But when I put it all on..it was cool , but it was...well.....I looked like a stipper. Now the slutty angle gets played a lot in female Halloween costumes, and I myself have been guilty of it..but the Girl Scout thing is just too much. You just can't be a 23 year old girl scout without looking slutty.
It is frustrating. I don't want to be some male fantasy, I want to have a fun costume!!! I kep racking my brain thinking of things that I can make or put together. The people I will be with are dressing up as the guys from "Easy Rider" but I don't think there are any memorable girls in that movie. (Except the prostitues..?)
ok, what I really want to be is a cowgirl...but I don't have the boots, the hat, or anything that really looks cowboy-ish. These Halloween costumes can get expensive...I don't know....if anyone out there thinks of anything feel free to let me know.....

2003-10-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

hanging up on someone is empowering...but sort of not at the same time. i just hung up on a certain somebeody, and I was hot with the firey fury of satan in a hottub eating spicy thai noodles...and i still am..sort of. Then i remembered it's friday night, and I'm here alone. And I'm kinda bored. And what if this person doesn't call me back? what will I do for the rest of the night?
and then there is the other side. I mean, I'm pissed. REALLY pissed...but what if my hanging up has infuriated the other party into being MORE pissed than me? I feel like a wuss saying that..but I never really hang up so that I won't have to talk to the person, I hang up to make a point. I am a pissed off woman, hear me ROAR!!!!Now you better call me back! no, wait, seriously, call me back! ok, It's been 15 minutes, the phone hasn't rang. Now I am curious..how pissed off is the other person? Was my hanging up unwarrented? I know myself that it is fully justified, but if the other party doesn't see it as that, then how long do I have to wait to talk it over? The suspense might kill me! FUCKING CALL ME BACK ALREADY!!!!
so, people, I try to be a tough-ass..but as you can see, it is mainly an act. When I yell at people, I am secretly hiding my shaking hands and my heart is really racing in my chest. I try to push myself to seem tough, but I am truly a bit of a pushover.
The phone is not ringing. Maybe I should attribute that to the string of obscenities that left my mouth before I slammed down the phone. I just don't think before I say these things! no, I take that back. I meant it, every word. Ok, I think I need to leave the house. Ta!

2003-09-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

hi. when was the last time I wrote on this thing? a long ass time, I guess. I basically forgot about it for awhile. My life has been pretty crazy brains latley, and haven't had much time to think about anything....
so ashleys "bachelorette party" was last night. Really, we had fun, but in terms of a Bachelorette party, it was pretty lame. Basically it was just a girls night out, for most of it it was just me and ashley. And since we have no girlfriends (or knowledge of lexington bars), there was not a whole lot to distinguish it from any other night. so we went to the melodeon (sp?) and lynaughs, listened to millenium hip hop party, saw a funky band for the last 15 minutes of their set. it was cool. I was extremely tired because I stayed up partying the night before in cincinnati until dawn. but I pulled through until at least 1:30 last night, I thought that was pretty good, considering.
so we are thinking about having another "bachelorette" party, only maybe planned a little better. The only problem being that it would have to be after ashley and matt get married. (didn't they do that for chandler on friends?)

so, I am the worlds laziest human today. I feel like this is the first day I have been able to sit on my ass and do nothing, and I am going to enjoy it to the fullest extent. I already watched "when harry met sally" today, and later "you've got mail" will be on! and it's rainy and sort of cold, perfect lounging around in my pj's kinda day. so why am i wasting it sitting here on the computer????
bu-bye.

2003-09-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

it has been so long since I have written on this bee-otch that I almost forgot my blogger password.
I'm sitting here eating strawberries and raspberries...and I don't have a whole lot to say. I can tell you on thing. I am tired of being introspective. Does anyone else get real introspective when they go to the beach? I think it is something about the sand and the waves that maybe remindes me of "deep thoughts by jack handey" but I get for real deep thoughts....and I am tired of it. My mind has been on overload just thinking about stuff constantly--I have had the worst time sleeping and I haven't resolved any of my ongoing issues.

I am america's #1 narcissist................

I think I need to learn to live in the moment more...and stop thinking about everything so damn much!

in other news...everyone I know is getting married. I found another cool dog today which I named Chopper, as a tribute to Peaches, the lost pomeranian I also named Chopper. I have a painting in a real deal art show in cincinnati next weekend....I am excited about that, except that I thought my painting was done until I saw it in the sunlight yesterday and it looked aaallllllll wrong. so now I have to change it more and I feel rushed and it sucks. but the painting will be good.hopefully.

oh, and for ANYONE who might be interested, Juicy juice is indeed made with 100% juice. I saw the commercial.

oh, and this is my immature observation of the day: almost every time I type the word "and" I write "nad" . hee hee. nad.

alright, well I'm off!

2003-08-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at my actual blog page and I realize half of those entries are all posted twice. I have no clue why they are doing that, but I aplogize. I will try to stop this from happening....
I was gonna write, but I am gonna take my dog for a walk instead. Maybe later.....

2003-08-08T11:08:00.001-07:00

I have a public service announcement....

Drunk (or even tipsy) emailing is bad news. Don't do it. It is just as bad as Drunk and tipsy late night phone calls. You will say things you don't mean. You might email the wrong person. You will spell everything wrong, and you might even email an old boyfriend or "fling" that you previously swore you would never ever email again. (If you make that promise to yourself, get rid of all temptaions...get that number off your phone, delete that email address, put a sticker over it in your address book, whatever it takes to make you NOT CALL!) I don't know if you know, but you can't get those emails back!You can't suck them back through the computer, once you click they are really gone! So you better not say anything stupid. The next day you will sit at work and think about it and squirm and want to cry and scream and squeeze things, because you want to get that email back soooooo bad it hurts!

So don't do it. Seriously.

2003-08-08T11:08:00.000-07:00

I have a public service announcement....Drunk (or even tipsy) emailing is bad news. Don't do it. It is just as bad as Drunk and tipsy late night phone calls. You will say things you don't mean. You might email the wrong person. You will spell everything wrong, and you might even email an old boyfriend or "fling" that you previously swore you would never ever email again. (If you make that promise to yourself, get rid of all temptaions...get that number off your phone, delete that email address, put a sticker over it in your address book, whatever it takes to make you NOT CALL!) I don't know if you know, but you can't get those emails back!You can't suck them back through the computer, once you click they are really gone! So you better not say anything stupid. The next day you will sit at work and think about it and squirm and want to cry and scream and squeeze things, because you want to get that email back soooooo bad it hurts!

So don't do it. Seriously.

2003-08-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

well, i just got done beautifying myself. i gave myself a french manicure! Hee! I am so not a french manicure person, but this girl from work gave me a kit, so i thought, what the hell? It didn't really work though, I just got white goop everywhere, and my nails aren't even long, so it looks pretty dumb. I'm leavin it like that though. If it wasn't so late I would go all out with the facial scrub, foot wraps, lotion gloves....well, i don't really have the lotion gloves. I wish I did though. They even have lotion socks thingies...you are supposed to sleep in them, but I can't imagine sleeping with my feet encased in lotiony socks.Gross.

This is where my true girliness comes out. I love products! Lotions and soaps and scrubs and sprays. Bring it on, I want all the flavors and scents. I like makeup too, but I don't really have any cool makeup, mostly because it's expensive and those makeup counters at the mall intimidate me. So any makeup I have is straight Rite Aid. I like to put makeup on too, but it seems like it melts off my face in about five seconds. Especially mascara. If I put it on in the morning, I have racoon eyes by noon. So I aviod it unless I am going out and I know it will only have to last for a couple of hours. But then, once it is down under my eys, it seems like glue..I can scrub with gasoline and vinegar water and I will still have racoon eyes for at least two days. Perhaps I should look for some new mascara.....

Ok, I know it is dorky, but I still love Saved By the Bell. I actually think it's funny. Or at least it just remindes me of when I was younger so it has a special place in my heart. I love how Jessie is such a feminist and Slater calls her "Mama" and how he calls Zack "Preppy." I used to want to be Kelly Kapowski because she was so pretty and all the boys loved her. Remember when she broke up with Zack for Mark, the older guy that worked at the Max? Kelly called Zack Mark when they were all dressed up like Romeo and Juliet for the school dance....that was heartbreaking. Anyway, The best episode, where Jessie Spanno gets addicted to caffine pills, was on today, and I missed it! (it is on for an hour every day at noon.) I think I am going to start taping them. Stop laughing at me. You know you love Mr Belding!

"I'm so excited!....I'm so excited....I'm so...SCARED!"

ps--Oh yeah, I finally got a staple gun, but I am boycotting Home Depot for awhile-

2003-08-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

2003-08-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

So today started out good. I slept in well, which has been hard for me latley. You know when you have those mornings that you sleep in just the perfect amount, and you can just lye there and try to get your dream back, and just get out of bed when you want to? Well, lately I have been waking up at 7 and not going back to sleep. Or I have been hot, or cold, or the cat wakes me up, or I have to pee....

But this morning was good. I slept great, had good dreams, and woke up ready to start the day.

I had a plan for today. I have spent the last two weeks cleaning and painting the garage in order to make it a suitable studio space, and I was planning on painting all day. It is all a part of my "rededicating myself to art" thing. I had to stretch some canvases, which I figured I would do in the morning, and then I would spend the rest of the day painting. Ha! I was so naive.....

So, Time to find the staple gun. This is where my agony beings. It is a challenge to find anything in my house under normal circumstances, but I don't really use the staple gun that much, so it doesn't really have it's own place, therefore making it all the more impossible to locate. Was it in the basement? No. Run back upstairs. In my bedroom? No, back downstairs. In the garage? Run outside. No. Maybe in the linen closet? (Don't ask) Run upstairs, to closet. Nope, not there. Well, maybe it really IS in the basement. Run back down. No, not there......

And so on and so forth. Finally, 1/2 an hour later I located the gun in a cabinet where old paint is kept. Then I had to find the staples, which thankfully were not too far from the gun. Then I had to repeat the entire process to find my canvas pliers, which was even more infuriating. Finally, almost an hour after I had set out to do it, I was ready to stretch my canvas.

So, I shooed both cats and my dog off of the canvas which was laying on the floor, (it is a 5'x5' canvas) and got to work. I had stapled maybe 9 or 10 times, when the gun heaved, let out a sigh, and died. It just gave up. One squeeze and it was stapling, the next squeeze, nothing. It was an electrical staple gun, which must have a shorter life span than the manual kind.

(I have to add here, that while I was trying to determine the cause-of-death, the spring deal on the staple gun sprang back, right into my lip, which smashed into my tooth, causing me to have a fat lip the rest of the day and hate the stupid thing even more.)

So, I was understably frustrated but I tried to look on the bright side. It was an old gun, what could I do? I gathered myself together, and set off for the homeland of many a dad (and liberated mom)....Home Depot.

Has anyone ever tried to find anything at Home Depot before? If it is wood, or a ceiling fan, then you are in luck. Anything smaller or more insignifiagnt than a chainsaw, you better have a few hours to spare. I examined the giant signs hanging from the rafter several hundreds of feet above my head. "hmmmm...I know it doesn't fall under "Lumber" or Plumbing Parts". What about "Electrical Tools"? I kind of wanted a manual one, but it's a start....." I wandered the giant rows, gazing at everything under the sun except for staple guns, before I employed the help of the Home Depot guy. He showed me where to go and after debating briefly, I chose a middle of the road, basic, good ol' staple gun. I paid and left, eager to get all of the canvas stretching over with.

I ripped the gun out of the package. I loaded it up with staples. I pulled the canvas. I pressed the gun. I pulled the triggger. And nothing happened.

"heh heh." I laughed nervously and figured maybe it just needed a warm up. Tried again. Nothing. The staples, instead of shooting out at speeds that could pop a moving tire (Like they are supposed to), it sort of pitifully fell out of the end. No force, no velocity. Just "ploop."

So at this point I was ready to pull my hair out. It was 3 in the afternoon. I had already been at this for 2 1/2 hours! I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I just want to stretch that stupid canvas!

I composed myself. I got my reciept. I put the bunk stapler back in the box. I went back to Home Depot.

I had a bit of trouble finding my way back to the staple gun area...I confused myself by parking on the opposite side of the lot, and coming in through a different door. but it was somewhat easier to negotiate, and I finally found them. As I tried to figure out what the next best gun might be, the same Home Depot guy that had helped me before came up to me. "Are you finding everything Miss?" I guess he thought I was still looking from when I was there earlier. I explained my situation to him. He was nice, and helped me find a new staple gun. He said the new one was the kind they use around the store, and he even let me try it out. It was great. I went through all the exchange hassels, finally I had a great new staple gun. Finally I was going to get to work.

The gun started out great. Or so I thought. It has a trigger that you push, rather than squeeze, which is much easier on my smallish hands. But, it has a saftey feature that won't allow the gun to shoot if it isn't level. Or if it isn't pressed hard enough. Or if you don't let up the trigger all the way in between eash squeeze. Or if the wind isn't blowing correctly, the temperature isn't exactly 72 degrees, or if the air is too moist. In other words, for every ten squeezes on the trigger, I got about 3 staples. If I was lucky.

I slowly worked my way around the canvas with The Most Evil Staple Gun of all time, my palm was red and bruised, my nerves completley shot.

And it died.

The third staple gun of the day died. It clicks and clicks, but nothing comes out. I can see that there are staples in there, but even if I wanted to refill it, I can't get the compartment open.

Is this possible? Is it real? At 7.00 pm I gave up. My day of joy and painting that I looked forward to all week was wisked away like a leaf in the wind....all because of staple guns that are trying to kill me. I am not sure what the odds are of this happening, but I'm pretty sure that three dead staple guns in one day is rare.

My canvas is sitting downstairs, it is nothing but a bed for my cats, (as long as they avoid the broken staples sticking out at odd angles, and the renegade staples all over the floor.) My paint is sitting forlornly, still in its tubes, in the perfectly set up garage studio, wondering if it will ever get used.Not a brush has been touched. The Staple Guns from Hell, 1 and 3, are still sitting downstairs. Probably they are waiting until I go to sleep to come back to life and pull some Steven King type pranks...I can only imagine.

Tomorrow I am going to Home Depot for the last time to rid myself of all staple guns, and then I am going to buy some pre-stretched canvases!

2003-08-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

well, it's friday night. Not too exciting, I am being a home-body tonite. Having to work at 8 in the morning on saturday sucks, but I am feeling the need for quality alone inthe house time. (by alone in the house of course I mean me, my parents, my sister, two cats, one dog, three tv's, assorted stereos, a billions phones, and whirring air conditioner.) well, I don't really mind the air conditioner. It remindes me of summertime and it seems comforting somehow. maybe cause the only place I have lived with AC is with my parents so I know if I hear that whirr, then I am really at home. If I don't hear it, I am probably lying in a pool of sweat, surrounded by fans, and windows and doors wide open, letting whoever and whatever come in cause it's just that damn hot!!!
anyhoo...I am supposed to be getting all my domestic crap done tonite, like laundry and changed sheets and picking up and all that. It's not happening. I got addicted to the TV and then I got addicted to the computer. Oh well, I suppose I need a free night. I always try to plan every mili-second of my day to the point where it is weird, I think. It's not that I'm busy so much as that I don't have a lot of not-at-work time, so feel like I have to cram in working out-going out-hanging out-painting-relaxing-and all that stuff into just a few hours. And I keep trying to go to bed early, which is totally not happening!

I keep thinking about doing a quickie diet and step-up in my work-out-routine, in order to prepare for my trip to florida. The inevitable constant wearing of a bathing suit is emminent, and I want to be prepared. I know, I know, I shouldn't care, but lets face it people, I do. But I am just not a dieter.I mean, I don't really believe in it anyway, but if a piece of pizza is looking at me in the face, I am not going to turn it down. Ice cream cake at 9 in the morning? bring it on. I just like that stuff. But I eat really healthily the majority of the time, so ....screw it. I figure life is too short to not eat food that I want to eat...I guess I will just do some extra sit-ups or something....whatever...I like my body fine and all that la-dee-da, but wouldn't it be fun to be a super-model looking person, just for a day? I would like to see what kind of different reactions I would get......and to see if people treated me differently

um...speaking of which, I need a whole new wardrobe. Ashley, we need to trade clothes.

2003-07-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

so josh told me last night that my blog was very "down and out", so I had total intent to write a cheerful entry. But now I am home from work, and I feel grouchy again...I guess the blog is a good release for crappy emotions, and I don't really run to the computer to write about my great moods..but i'm really not a sad person, really!

anyhoo, workplaces seem to take some people back to third grade. At my store these ladies are constantly in corners whispering, or stopping the conversation when I come into the room...not so much because they are talking about me (I hope!) but just talking about "top secret stuff." It is so strange. I have to admit to being a gossip queen and I totally love knowing stuff that is absolutley none of my business, but even I don't pull that kinda crap. I mean, if you're going to tell secrets, you should be a little more undercover in my opinion.

Also, these people talk to soooo much crap. It is hilarious cause they are all "christain" and "god-bless-you" and all that, but then they will turn around and just talk and talk and talk about people, and mean stuff! So of course I wonder what they are saying about me...it's unnerving....I guess I also just don't get along as well with ladies...I can kick it and joke around with all the guys, but I think that the women all think I am either weird, or just too young to relate to.I just don't mesh with the crowd there. I'm getting sort of tired of it....

I am getting excited to go to the beach next month. I just had a vacation, but I need a permant vacation!

more stuff later.............
ps--ooohhh funny thing, I almost got hit on today! (this is a rare occurance, so I have to document it.) this was less than thrilling though, considering the guy. He was about 8 feet tall, 110lbs...he had jeans that left at least an inch of his socks showing over his high top all-black nikes from 1992 (and they were those tight jeans) plus he wore his wrap-around reflective sunglasses the whole time in the store. And really, he didn't hit on me. He didn't even talk to me. he just asked someone else who worked there who I was and if I was single or something. So it wasn't a big deal. Ok. whatever. we will just pretend it was prince charming asking for a date...hee!

2003-07-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

so josh told me last night that my blog was very "down and out", so I had total intent to write a cheerful entry. But now I am home from work, and I feel grouchy again...I guess the blog is a good release for crappy emotions, and I don't really run to the computer to write about my great moods..

anyhoo, workplaces seem to take some people back to third grade. At my store these ladies are constantly in corners whispering, or stopping the conversation when I come into the room...not so much because they are talking about me (I hope!) but just talking about "top secret stuff." It is so strange. I have to admit to being a gossip queen and I totally love knowing stuff that is absolutley none of my business, but even I don't pull that kinda crap. I mean, if you're going to tell secrets, you should be a little more undercover in my opinion.

Also, these people talk to soooo much crap. It is hilarious cause they are all "christain" and "god-bless-you" and all that, but then they will turn around and just talk and talk and talk about people, and mean stuff! So of course I wonder what they are saying about me...it's unnerving....I guess I also just don't get along as well with ladies...I can kick it and joke around with all the guys, but I think that the women all think I am either weird, or just too young to relate to.I just don't mesh with the crowd there. I'm getting sort of tired of it....

I am getting excited to go to the beach next month. I just had a vacation, but I need a permant vacation!

more stuff later.............
ps--ooohhh funny thing, I almost got hit on today! (this is a rare occurance, so I have to document it.) this was less than thrilling though, considering the guy. He was about 8 feet tall, 110lbs...he had jeans that left at least an inch of his socks showing over his high top all-black nikes from 1992 (and they were those tight jeans) plus he wore his wrap-around reflective sunglasses the whole time in the store. And really, he didn't on me, he just asked someone else who worked there who I wasand if I was single or something. So it wasn't a big deal. Ok. whatever. we will just pretend it was prince charming asking for a date...hee!

2003-07-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm sooo bored! I feel so restless latley. I feel like a grown up. I sort of miss those summers in college when all I did was waste time and get drunk every night and stay up till 5 in the morning every day. The logical side of me know that is a bad bad bad way to spend the summer, but I could stand to just have a bunch of free time, even without the alcohol!
But that one summer, my "alcoholic summer" after my junior year of college, that was fun. I would sit on my friend Holly's porch and drink rolling rock all night long, literally, at least 5 nights a week. It eventually led to bad things for all of us...but in the moment, at the time, with no thoughts of reprecutions, it was great. We smoked a million cigarettes, played drinking games, ran up and down the stairs, broke beer bottles during the best most hardcore songs, it was kinda crazy, but fun! The whole group of us were like best friends for those two or three months that it lasted, now I don't talk to any of them. It's true that your drinking buddies end up being just that, buddies you drink with and nothing more...
I could never, and would never want to, drink beer like that again. But I think I have gone way too far in the other direction too. I look at my watch and think "uh oh, I better get to bed." I never stay out late and I am very healthy and all that, which is good, but I think I don't have enough spontinaity in my life. Back then it was like there was never any planning, we just did things. I miss that. I miss being able to stay up until 3 in the morning. I miss going swimming at 6 in the morning and driving to the next city if I felt like it.
It is a pain that it is so hard to be spontaneous when you get older. There isn't too much I can just do when I always have to be at work the next day.

Now I have lost my train of thought...oh well, until next time......

2003-07-16T15:43:00.000-07:00

ugh. I am such a moody person sometimes..especially latley..I have been pissing people off left and right. To all those who I have been a mondo-bee-och to, I apologize. I am going through a transitional life phase and not dealing with it well...(or something along those lines...)

On a lighter note, I also want to recommend the website tomatonation.com. It is really funny. Read the archives. That girl is hilarious.

umm...I don't know. I wish I was more interesting, I just feel so blah. I wish I didn't have to work so I could sleep and go swimming and drink beer and eat pizza all summer long. Whatever happened to those days of irresponsibility that I was so good at? I can't cram all of it into my days off...it feels too..responsible that way....

2003-07-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

This thing sucks because it just erased everything I just wrote. Stupid Website.

Anyways, as I was saying, I am trying to figure out what to do with my life, and it is an long and hard task. I feel discouraged. I know most people my age feel this way, but It doesn't make it any easier. I feel like so many people know what they want or at least have some clue, and I am just so confused. I guess I have a clue, but I don't really know jow to make it happen. i know that money is not a huge concern...as long as I have at least enough to live, I will be fine for now--I really don't want to worry too much about it until I have a family or whatever...

Hmmm....I would like to do volunteer work..or at least have a job that is benifiting people. I want to move out west for at least awhile. And I want to work outside..It seems like these are things that shouldn't be too hard to make work together, but it is taking so mauch time on the internet just reading and emailing people. I really hope this americorps stuff works out--that would be awesome. I f not I just want to do something similar--but what? I want to meet new people and have new experiences...But it is hard to have not much of a clue where to start.

I went swimming today. I love that song "back on the chain gang." who is that by?
I love it when she say.."those where the best times of my life"

When I was in chicago I went to a dance club that was soo much fun. I guess it wouldn't be fun to go every weekend. I guess that is one benifit of living in a big city...More stuff to do!I can't help it though, I am a true country girl at heart. I love the outdoors too much to live with all that concrete.
I know there is a bunch of errors here, but I am wayyyy to lazy to check them Cya!

2003-07-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am back from my week away. It was fun.

I'm so sick of the government, and politics and the rich, white, conservative freaks that run this country. I can't even really talk about it cause I'm so sick of it. But I hate George Bush. I think he sucks ass. I can't read anymore conservative websites, they are starting to piss me off. I am tired of trying to understand the other side.....

anyways, I had a fun week. I went to chicago and cincinnati. There is the best new bar in Newport where the beer is served in liter mugs and there is a german band, and you can dance like crazy on the tables while you sway your drink like a crazy drunk sailor. It's like octoberfest all year round. I love it.

I'm pooped though so I have to go.

2003-06-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

well, this blogger site is all different, so hopefully all my past entries aren't all retarded. If they are, well, screw it, they were porbably boring anyway.
I have decieded to keep writing more on this page, but it will have to wait a week, cause I'm going out of town. After that, I will write all the time.

I just entered the world of cell-phone owners. hopefully I won't regret it. they cool thing is my phone has tetris and a game called space dudes on it. No doubt, tetris will be taking up a good portion of my time from now on.

Has anyone ever eaten triscuit pizza? This is a wonderful thing that the whole world should experience. Old triscuit commercials actually featured triscuit pizza. The new girl moves into the unrealistically posh college apartment, and the cool older girls show her the ropes (which apparently involoves triscuit pizza--"it's like, study food!")
anyway, my freshman year of college I was not only broke, but hadn't quite grasped the concept of going to the grocery.Years of being spoiled by my parents, I expected food to magically show up at my door. Looking back I'm not quite sure how my roommates and I survived that year. I suspect that we obtained most of our nutrients through the typical beer and pizza diet, with an occational side from the nearby convience store. Other than that it was bagels and an endless supply of Zataran's red beans and rice. (Not Zatarans best, I must say. My roommate Jane's mother sent her home with about 5 boxes a week. We stopped eating them around January and when we moved we had an entire cabinet full. We left them there for the new residents.)
Basically we just ate whatever was laying around the house, somehow we always had triscuits. (jane's mom.) I remembered the commercial and suggested that we make triscuit pizza,at first just as a joke. You just need a little bit a tomato sauce and some cheese. Best if it's mozzarella, but whatever works. They are damn good, I gotta tell ya. Especailly for the broke people. Not an expensive snack. I just ate some for luch. They are especially good with the thin kind of triscuits.

just thought I would pass that along,, I am super late to work now...bye!

2003-06-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

I know that I should be tired, but I just can't get sleepy! I have had a hella long ass day, but the sleepiness just won't come. Me and Ashley just got done talking about the boys we used to make out with in high school. Funny stuff. back when it was all sneaking around and a big deal and all kinds of new stuff. Now it seems blah, I guess, unless it's with someone really awesome.....
anyhoo..I alaways think about stuff I want to write about and then I nver have any damn time to do it! it has been crazy latley, trying to get this whole mural thing started and figuring out what to do with my life...I should write a book...

So what is the deal with re-pubescent girls wearing no clothes? I went to old navy last week (when I called in sick--hee!) And I was casually shopping when I was assaulted by a 14 year old torso that was bearing regions dangerously close to the pubic zone. Grody. And the freakiest thing is these chicks are shopping with thier moms! WTF??? When I was that age I wasn't even allowed to wear those black biker shorts with the neon on the sides cause mom thought they were too tight. Nowadays girls are bearing midriffs at 6, showing cleavage at 10, sporting dirty lingerie at 14. .... it just isn't right...

ok, I'm more tired than I thought...toodles!

2003-06-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize a new quirk of mine--I hate loud chewing. Not so much the loud cause it's crunchy, but more the loud cause it's too much food in the mouth, or the mouth isn't closed while eating. My dad is a totally loud chewer. And the other day at work my boss's wife--picture tiny old lady--came into the lounge area with her egg salad sandwich and I had to turn up Tatu on the MTV movie awards all the way in order to not have to listen to her slurping all that egg salad up.( and in order to not puke up my normal egg-less salad) One of my old roommates used to slurp apples so loud I could hear it in my bedroom, and another roommate would go to The Olive Garden and stuff a whole meat filled ravioli in her mouth --which is a big-ass raviloi--and then star talking. It was totally gross. I am not a complete advocate on manners, but people, keep the food in the mouth and the mouth closed. The other day at CiCi's Alan blew Dr Pepper out of his nose when he started laughing. I told him he was really lucky it wasn't our first date.

Hmm...I rented Milo and Otis the other night. Is that weird? Ok, it was a friday night. So what if all I want on a Friday night is Milo and Otis and some tofu red curry to make me happy?? And on Saturday night I went to a bar and was totally bored. I wanted to be in my pj's with a kitty on my lap, watching Saturday night live with a glass of tang. I must be getting old. Seriously, latley Dave Letterman is too late for me. Back in the day I used to watch Dave before I went out. Of course I was seriously sleep deprived and maybe a little crazy back then....Today was my day off and I got up at 7:30. Weirdness.....

I watched this show today about "rock hard bodies" and the obbsession with plastic surgery. Now thats whatever anyways, but what I want to know is when the censor guys went on vacation? Why is the only part of the breast that is off limits the nipple? I was sitting the innocently eating a popsicle watching the show (my guilty pleasure--trashy tv!) and all of the sudden my eyes where accosted by the sight of a female breast with the NIPPLE MISSING and two fingers IN THE HOLE pulling it apart to shove in the tube for the implant or whatever. OH MY GOD!!! What the hell is wrong! There was no blurry thingies, no pixilated images, no black bars or even stratigically placed heads. Just a big bloody nippeless boob on national television, with no feaking warning. And that was followed by the freaky-ass lipo fottage where the doctors always look like they are carving the thanksgiving turkey or something. I'm sorry, some things just need censorship. The funny thing is there was probably a coke or something sitting on the table that was blurred out (Like I'm supposed to believe they only drink Dr Pepper on "The Real World"--totally different story...) I wonder if the person who belongs to that breast realizes it was broadcast on national television, and without it's most redeeming feature? I'd be pissed......not that I would ever put my boobs in that position anyways.......

2003-06-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

I should say, about my last post, that I wasn't saying that being in a relationship is a bad thing. I guess it is a stuggle for me at times, because I have a pretty independant personality. And being in a relationship can be wonderful..it just comes with a lot of emotional drama, that I don't have a lot of patience dealing with. I guess I should have said that the simplicity of being single is nice, cause dating can just be more of a pain in ass than it's worth sometimes. I never said I was single, either--I do have a boyfriend who is awesome-and I love-I just like to indepndant, I don't want to be one of those couples who are up each other ass all the time...

Anyways....

I went to Raven Run today. It was a beautiful day...I wasn't really in a big hiking mood..I just wanted to be outside. I feel my outlook on life, and the things I think about changing...I really feel so much different about things in general than I did when I was in school. I guess I just feel more like I look at things more positively. I feel more spiritual---like I have more of a connection to nature and my place in the universe.
Maybe I sound like Miss hippie tree-hugger, but I don't care....Nature, the world, it is all so amazing! Just sitting in a field listening to the birds and the trees and bees and bugs, I am just blown away by just being a part of it all. With all the things we think about during the day, I think we forget where we really came from. Yes, there are different religious angles that can be looked at, but we are all just flesh and bone, on this amzing planet, in this huge universe. It just makes me have such a respect for life and all living creatures and plants and trees and the wind. It is all so beautiful...I wish I was able to write about it better...

It got me thinking about how it would be possible to capture that level of beauty in a painting. I wish I could figure out how to do it...I wish I even knew where to start! I guess most people would think to just paint what I see, but I don't want to just duplicate it.( I'll leave that up to Thomas Kinkaid...) I just wish I could get the essence of the beauty of what I am talking about into a painting.

Ok, I guess I am done being all gooshy talking. I have just been feeling very introspective and thoughful latley.....

one last thing...How could anyone eat a cow? They are so cute, with their big sad eyes, and always chewing.And their moo's sound so peaceful, kind of like ducks quacking. I understand that all animals eat each other, but I could never live with cows around, and hang out with them, and then turn around and eat them. I guess most people don't really hang out with cows though.....

2003-05-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

well, I am back from work now. I was feeling better, but now I am feeling blah again. There is a really bad vibe in my house right now, and i just don't feel like dealing with it.
The rest of work was fun though, believe it or not. Saturday are fun, if everyone is in a good mood, and if all the "fun people" are there. We did a lot of giggling, which is fun. I always get the worst cases of the giggles, and that happened today when I was waiting on a lady whose last name was "Beavers" and who was picking up paper for the last name of "Butts." Since I am 12 years old, this was all hilarious to me. Then I asked a lady if she wanted a song instead of "do you want a bag" because right behind me this girl goes "Oh thats my Song!!!" about the song that had just come on the radio. The funniest part about that was that the song was "I adore mi amore" by Color me BaDD. Almost as funny as the Yorkshire Terrier named Sassy Briches, which I still think is the funniest thing ever.

Sometimes I think being single is more fun than being in a relationship, even a good relationship. When I think about the best Valentines Days I have had, the best ones are when I am hanging out with the girls, or any of my single friends.We all kind of bemoan the fact that we are all alone, but it's more fun to me than missing out on all the fun with your friends because you are hanging out with your boyfriend. I always hated that part of being part of a couple....I guess maybe I have just never been in a relationship that was great enough to miss out on being with the big group. I just think I am more of a loner, even though I have spent a lot of time being in relationships. I don't know why, I just feel more comfortable by myself...

2003-05-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

wow, my last entry was full of rage. I am sort of rageful right now...not really, I am just being a grouch. I am on my lunchbreak right now. I don't have time to write anything of intrest, so I am just writing I guess cuase I haven't in a while.

Here's one thing: I was listen to Loveline, that radio show with the sex questions, and this chick calls in talking about how her boobs are so big that they are saggy. She's only 19, she wants to know what the deal is, can she do anything about it? So Adam Corolla completly goes off, saying that she just has to deal with what she's got, and that she should just be happy with what she had, and that he is so sick of everyone trying to change themselves all the time. Now, while I totally agree with that point of view, isn't it right that Adam Corolla is co-host of the Man-show? And on that show, do they not promote the streotypical woman to be tiny with big tits? Do they not have said women dancing in their audience in extemely small amounts of clothing? Do they not have a past of the show called "Girls jumping on trampolines?" Are they not called "Juggies" And do we really believe that those "juggies" are the real deal? Well Adam Corolla, I wonder why the girl with the not-perfect juggie body is feeling insecure???? I swear to god, I am starting the Woman show. Not like Oprah, or Martha Stewart, but one where really hot guys stand around and we don't let them talk, then we talk about periods and female orgasms, and how it would be so nice if every boy was perfect in every way. Then we will drink beer too, and instead of the girls on trampolines thing, we'll have "Hot Firemen wearing those cute overall things" It will be awesome.

Word.

2003-05-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

oh my god. I just wrote this whole thing and my computer ate it! I am going to throw this big piece of crap out the window now. I can't type all of it over. I am so pissed off right now!!!ARRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

poop.

2003-05-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling blaaahhhhhh......!
tomorrow is my day off though, and I am happy about that. I am going to embark on my summer project of learning to identify trees, flowers, and birds by name. I have no clue past "hey, there's a robin." This guy at my work got really excited when I told him about this latest project, so he lent me all his Audobon videos and stuff. And so I have to watch them...I keep thinking I want to watch them, but I somehow keep putting it off. But if anyone wants to know how I am spending my Tuesday morning, i will be learning about all North American birds from a video that is no doubt directed by a British guy with messy hair....

I just watched this show Surfer Girls on mtv tonite. It was pretty lame-o. The show was half over before I saw any surfing. Why are all the people on these shows so young? I understand about appealing to the audience, but having half of these aspiring surfers be 18 seems a little young. How many people are achieving their lifelong goals at 18? Anyways, the show is just an excuse to put very young ass girls in bikinis on TV. And to capitalize on that whole "extreme sports are awesome" trend that is going on right now. but there was much more footage of the chicks hosing sand off their asses (and actually fighting over the hose, like how staged is that? I have never, ever wrestled in my swimsuit over a hose with a girl since I was at least 6. I mean, It would never occur to me, like how bad do you really need that hose?)than there was of any surfing or explanation of surfing and all that. I mean, what the hell is the difference between long boarding and short boarding? Yes, I guess the answer is pretty obvious, but you would think that on a show about surfing they might get into that for us inland folks.....

I hate tv.

well, I have to get my beauty sleep for the birds tomorrow. bu-bye.

2003-05-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day! Don't forget to do something nice for your mom today.I opted for the tried-but -true, kind of generic, card and flowers, but my mom was happy with that. It was a cool card though..i never buy cards ususally. Mostly because I have the added pressure of needing to be "really freakin creative" all the damn time, and i gotta put that art degree to good use somehow. But i feel my mom has a good 20+ years of my multicolored pastel flowers and my scrawly writing trying to fit "happy mothers day" on one line and make it pretty. (not mention the christmas, birthday, and various other holidays that have warrented me to bust out the card-makin skills.) I decieded the truly creative thing to do this year was to go make it a hallmark moment. So I did.

Do people use the word "affable"? I heard this word the other day and I had to actually look it up. Is it a common term? How has this word slipped by me for my whole life, without me knowing the meaning? I mean, i have heard it before, but I have never thought to actually use it. Now that i have recognized that fact though, i will probably hear 5 people use it in a sentence this week. It has a pretty good meaning, but I think it sounds kinda bad. Affable. My mom is affable and kind. Yucky word.

So,somehow i forgot to eat for almost 24 hours this weekend. This is really weird cause usually I am such a big eater, but I really sort of fasted this weekend. I made a last-minute choice to go to Cincinasty last night, which led to me forgeting to eat dinner. Then as soon as I got there I went out with Mike for his b-day and with all the beer-drinking and walking in the rain it was like 4 in the morning before I remembered I was hungry. So I figured I would get food in the morning, but I laid around all morning either too lazy, or too weak for lack of nutrients to get out of bed. Then I decieded that rather than spend more money I would just drive home and get food. I think I was about to start hallucinating at this point, It was like 2 in the afternoon and crazy sunny and I hadn't eaten since Saturday..(oh yeah and I forgot to say that I didn't eat lunch on Saturday because I had to run errands during my lunch break.So the last thing I had eaten was the previous day's breakfast and some combos on the way to cinci. ) When I got back to Lexington I was about to literally die, and I remembered I still had to get all the Mothers day crap, cause i couldn't show up without bearing gifts. So I had to do that too...I felt like I was drunk at this point, or on some other planet. It was like 4 o'clock before I ate anything. This is a really long ass story about not eating...I think I am still feeling the effects of my deprivation....I wish I could say that i had a sorta spiritual experience due to my lack of food, but in reality it was just painful.

It is a super beautiful day outside today. But the wind might blow you away, so I suggest you stay inside. Just kidding. Shut up Julie. Ok. Time to go have some bonding Mothers Day time and watch "Steel Magnolias"
Peace.

2003-05-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

hi. It is my day off, I have been spending hte morning doing nothing. I just ate some tuna. I thought I hated tuna, but it actually wasn't too bad. I decieded to try it, because although I have always thought it was gross, I have never really eaten it. It won't be something I eat a lot, but at least I tried something new.
hmm...well, last weekend I went to see Wesley Willis, which was pretty interesting. For all who aren't familiar, he is this big ol crazy guy who I understand was previously homeless but writes crazy songs and is now a widley known underground phoenomenon.All the songs are pretty much the same beat (casio keyboard?) and are really funny and weird like "Does your face hurt? Cause it's killing me" and " suck a mooses ass" and my favorite "rock and roll mc donalds.' but literally, they are all the same song, just different lyrics. His signiature move is to head butt people--I don't really get it, but he has a giant bump on his forehead--I guess cause he's been head buttin for about 10 years now. Anyways, apparently he is really crazy, and observing him the other night, he seemed really out of it. I felt weird, like going to the circus and being entertained but feeling guilty about it because of all the animals. I suppose that he is being exploited, but who knows? Maybe he loves it, and it is better than him being all homeless on the streets of Chicago, right? I don't know, but I'm tired of thinking about it.

The worst thing about tuna, i think, is the smell. I feel like I smell like a big tuna right now and that is just funky.so I gotta go take a shower or somethin. bu-bye.

2003-05-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

well, I am finally going to have 5 seconds to write on this thing. I don't have anything that interesting to say at the moment, but every other moment I can always think of stuff--just not when I am at a computer.
I feel like I have been so busy latley, but I don't really know what I have been doing. Now that the weather is so nice I have been trying to make the best out of all the daylight outdoors hours. but I feel like after work, I want to paint, I want to go running, I want to buy new shoes, I want to make a big 4 course meal, I want to hang out with friends and I need to go to bed by 12 so I can be all rested for the next day. I should be happy that I am busy, but I'm not really doing anything....

hmm..so yeah, I went to cinci and it was a lot of fun, although now I feel guilty about it...(ashley!) The best parts of the weekend were: the 3 cheese omlette (on saturday and sunday), The bulldozer crab, doing an interpretive dance to "ground control to major tom" to cheer up jane, and getting to hang out with Mike and Jeff. The crappiest thing was losing my drivers license and kicking it 19 year old style on saturday night. Also, 80 million reruns of The Family Guy.

Hmmm..I just now got back from painting at Ashleys, which was fun but now I have to clean out paint brushes. Suck. Totally bunk-ass. So I am done with this for now. nighty night, yall.

ps--*shout out to Travis! Hope you are safe and sound back in Utah!

2003-04-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

I don't have time to write much but I just had to say that I just read Ashley's weblog and I have to say ASHLEY!!! Don't be silly. You are my best friend in this town! If you and Matt weren't here I would be retardedly lonley all the time. I don't think my friends in cinci are better at all, I just miss being independant and I don't feel independant here. But you are awesome and I am so glad that we are GREAT friends now...and you know i would still visit all the damn time cause I want to hang out and plan the wedding. And you would have to visit me too. Anyways, I probably won't move anywhere, you will have to keep putting up with me. But I will never ever not be friends with you!!!!!
ok...just had to get that off my chest. more later.......

2003-04-22T18:15:00.000-07:00

yey! I am going to cincinnati this weekend and I am so excited! I miss my friends from there so much. It is pretty weird though becuase now I don't have any girls friends there, only the boys, and I can't ever get in touch with any of them. but I found someone to stay with and I can't to not be here for two whole days of my life!!!
I have been debating and debating about moving back to cinci. I really don't like the city, but I like my friends there. I have a pretty good job here that I am settled into and wouldn't be bad if I was happy with the other aspects of my life. If I could move my job to cinci I would probably move back. I am just wanted to make it until I had enough money saved up to buy a car...plus I want to do some traveling and stuff this summer. And also I am afraid that living there would be totally different now. molly and Jane aren't there, my other friends seem to be all doing whatever, and other situations that are just different now than they were. I just wish I knew what to do to make myself happy! Probably being in Cinci would be just the same..it would be fun to get my own apartment, but I am afraid I would be really homesick and lonley.I don't know....

anyways...why are things so hard? I know I make things harder for myself than they need to be, but I feel like in the past couple of years I have made choices that weren't the best because I never thought anything through. There are so many things I wish I could go back and change and I don't want to feel that way anymore. But I realize that being here isn't really making me happy because I have been feeling like this ever since last summer. I just have to psych myself up to make the changes that have to happen, I guess...

confusing!!!

2003-04-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

yey. The blog love keeps on spreading because now Ashley has one too!
it is www.glassgrrl.blogspot.com. I think. Shit. Oh well.
I am thinking about doing away with any small bit of proofreading I have done on this page, because I just can't remember to capitalize anything!
well, I have lots to talk about, but it will have to wiat. Time for kickboxing!!!

2003-04-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

So I had a little girls night out last night with Ashley and Jane, and when we came home we wrote some funny stuff on this page, but it is mysteriously gone this morning. I must have hit the wrong button. Too bad..that was some funny shit....

So, Happy Easter! I stayed out until 4 last night so I was pretty rough this morning...but it was a beautiful day...I slept in my mom's bed with clean sheets and a breeze coming through the window this afternoon..it was wonderful...that's what I dream about when I am tired at work..the most relaxing kind of nap...my mom's bed is so much more comfortable than mine for some reason. The only thing taking away from my relaxing nap was that Happy Days was on the TV in some other room. I hate Happy Days.

Boys in bars are so funny. Why do they think that pick up lines work? Who invented the pick up line? And who are these guys that really think that they are smooth when using them? I don't think I really send out the "approach me" vibe when I am out, and I don't get hit on that much, but when it happens it just cracks me up. And why is it always the most 12 year old looking, trying to be frat boy kind of guys that feel the need to try to "get my digits?" I know I look young,but it is ridiculous. If your mom is picking you up, I don't want you to call me. If you have two fake gold front teeth, I don't want you to call me. If you have on pleated shorts and loafers with no socks, i definetly don't want you to call me.
One time I was swimming at some pool and this little girl swims over to me, she had to have been about 11. She couldn't even touch the bottom and she was talking in that way that little kids do when they are struggling to stay afloat and taking in mouthfuls of water with every breath:" My brother likes you. (spit, gasp) He wants to know if you like him....he wants to go out with you." I look around for the hunky guy that was really cute and funny to send his sister over (well, I was hoping!) and instead she pointed to this scrawny zitty 14 year old kid pretending not to look at me. 14! I'm 23, this was maybe 3 years ago. It was pretty funny. but anyways, If you aren't old enough to drive, please do not call me.
I guess I sound like a stuck up bee-och, but I am just being stupid, I don't think I am god's gift to men by any stretch of the imagination. But really, what is the deal with the little kids?

Anyways, it was pretty funny last night.

Ashley and I are going to start a website. I don't know exactly what the basis will be, but it will be cool, i know that!

I just don't feel like talking about anything deep and meaningful latley. So, I'm shallow, sorry. Too many re-runs of Sorority Life.

2003-04-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

it's my lunchbreak..it's raining like craziness outside.

I thought of something funny today...you know you are getting older..or have entered a new phase of maturity when you start to check fingers for the wedding ring. Latley, I always check for the ring. Now most of the men shopping at my place of business are far from ring checking material, old sweaty, leathery skin and dirty tatoos are not my cup of tea. But every once and awhile a young, tan, long-ish facial hair with a hat kind of guy will come in, and then I always check for the ring. I know it makes no difference, but it's just a reassurance kinda thing. Like when your favorite celebrity breaks up or gets a divorce--now they are available! It might be better if I could flirt...I don't know how to do that. If I think a boy's cute I either stare until they look at me and I quickley look away with a stupid look on my face, or I just talk way too low and mumble so no one can understand what I'm saying. ("What? You're from Where????")

Anyways...I haven't got much to say now. Maybe I will enlighten myself later....time for some veggie corndogs...

2003-04-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

ok...so I need to bring positivety into my thoughts. i realize I have been a total bitching machine latley and I kinda feel guilty about it. So here's some good things to think about:

veggie pan pizza from pizza hut.
puppies of all sorts.
going out, wearing a cute ass outfit, laughing a lot, having drinks, eating pizza later, smooching on the porch, seeing the sun come up.
if smoking was good for you, and it smelled like cucmber-melon/green tea soap.
my own personal chef.
free money.
watching "reality bites", "fools rush in", and "when harry met sally" all in one day.
flying kites.
paddles boats.
syndicated friends, and road rules from like 95' at 1 in the morning.
when my house is clean.
when my sheets are clean and non-wrinkled.
funniest home videos.
driving with a full tank of gas, on the first really warm day, and a highway listening to that neutral milk hotel song.....
mocha chip ice cream.

ok...let the happiness shine on...at least for the rest of today....at least the sun came out today. so I'm going outside right now!!!

2003-04-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

Today is a shitty day.

The kind of day that just makes you want to go back to bed.
The every-time-you-get-into-a-car-you-end-up-behind-some-old-person-going-10-mph., kind of day.
The kind of day where your clothes just feel weird on your body, like you are uncomfortable in your own skin.
The ex-boyfriend-has-a-new-girlfriend kind of day.
The dumb-people-asking-stupid-questions kind of day.
The back-into-your-neighbors-lexus kind of day. (well, that didn't happen, but it's only 1, it still could) kind of day.
The kind of day where no one emails you.
The kind of day where you can't find any good tapes in your car, and the radio just sucks.
The kind of day where it is 45 degrees in freekin april.
the kind of day that just sucks. It sucks so much that I don't even want it to get better because then I wouldn't have anything to bitch about. The kind of day that I am just a spoiled brat that sits around and feels sorry for myself over dumb things when there are obviously much bigger problems to think about (war, hunger, guns--i just saw bowling for columbine last night....) but I don't care, I want to whimper and cry about how no one loves me and what the fuck am I going to do with my life and why hasn't anyone thrown me a suprise party and made me cookies and sent me flowers, because obviously I deserve those things because the world revolves around me, doesn't it?

ok. time to choke back the tears and go back to work.....

julie and the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

I think I'll move to australia.

2003-04-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

My mind has been going crazy with a million things on it lately....

I saw Spike Lee speak on friday at UK. It was interesting....He did seem quite as articulate as I might have thought. He touched on many different subjects that he never really got into..like sports in universities, the war, his life, affirmitive action, etc. Some things that he taked about got me thinking though.
First of all, Queen Latifah's latest movie, "Bringing the House Down".I am so blown away by this gall of the writers of this movie. Has our society not advanced since last century? In this movie Queen Latifah exhibits all the negative stereotypes of an African American woman, which is highlighted by the whiteness of Steve Martin who plays opposite her as her boyfriend.Queen Latifah is made a complete joke, an object of hilarity because of her "blackness." Now, I haven't seen the movie so maybe I shouldn't say anything, but I really feel that seeing the trailers gives me enough to say that Queen Latifah has royally disapointed me..and I'm not even African American! All people should be offended by this movie...Spike Lee hit it on the nose when he said even though actors no longer wear black face, that doesn't mean that the age of Aunt Jemimahs and Mammy and Pappy stereotypes has passed, but now it is just a different stereotype.
Now it's the "Ghetto" stereotype. I just wonder why, Queen Latifah, Miss. UNITY, who is a role model to many African American's as well as Caucasian women, choose to play a role that makes such a mockery of her race? She paints a picture of African American women as rude, crude, mannerless and without education. I'm sure at the end of the movie there is some coming together of her character and Steve Martin in which they learn they are only drawn together by their differences and that love knows no bounds and blah blah blah.....Which makes it even more offensive. This movie is a disgrace...Queen Latifah should be ashamed of how she has represented herself and her race. I hope that at least some viewers of this movie won't be blinded by the "jokes" that will surely include Steve Martin dancing badly to rap music.
I know I should see a movie before making comments like this, but really, the commercials speak for themselves. I'll see it when it comes out on video to make sure I am right.
I'm just disapointed that there are so few positive images of African American women in the media. (Of ALL women, but particularly Black women.) It is sad to me that the image most seen is of some booty-shakin, breast baring women, who are only present to be on the arm of whatever terrible rapper whose video they happen to be in. Why aren't all women standing up to change this? The women's movement seems to be going in reverse...our mothers worked so hard and we are completley taking the rights they earned for us for granted. Women are still viewed in the mainly in the media as sex objects...Why are we accepting this? I am vowing right now to do something to help the cause. I want to find a way to make people aware of what they are blind to..the images that today's young women are growing up with..of the images WE are growing up with (because we are ALL always growing up)

All the women that I work with are constantly dieting, or making comments about their weight. Since I am the youngest female they are constantly making envious comments about my youthfulness. Almost none will lift more than two paint cans at once. They always have to get a guy to to the heavy lifting (which of course is sometimes neccessary, but not always.) They support each other's unhappiness with the size of their bodies....

We all do this! When can we learn to be happy with ourselves!!????

I know that men have their problems too, but the focus of my thoughts is girls.if that makes me a femi-nazi, then so be it.

well, anyways, I am ranting as usual. but I think that it is a real problem. Of course, there are all kinds of people getting blown away across the world, so maybe I should put things into perspective......

I painted my moms room green. And I tried to find some cool enviromental internships.

bye. sorry the grammar is so atrocious.

2003-04-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

I am grouchy. I don't know why cause it is a beautiful day and I didn't have to work, but I am grouchy anyways....

The stupid war sucks.

I think I need my own apartment. I have been staying with my parents since graduation, But now I am getting really tired of it. I need to be on my own. I love my family and all that, and they really don't bother me, but I just need to start doing my own thing.Like I miss going to the grocery store and having my friends over. I still do these things but it is just not the same. I am giving myself a month....I gotta get outta here...

Remeber The State? That show on MTV that was on in middle school (early 90's) There were those guys that stuck there butts in the pudding, and and doug who said "I'm outta heeere..." and off course the guy who said "I wanna dip my balls in it!" A lot of people seem to say that one without really knowing where it came from. Anyways, that show rocked. I hate how they always take the rockin shows off the air...The State, My So Called Life, and Seinfeld have to go , but shows like Witchblade and Fear Factoer stay on tv. And what is the freekin deal with reality television? Not only is it a totally twisted view of reality and single handedly undoing the feminist movement, it is unavoidable! i can't turn on the tv without seeing it on every channel. Even Animal Planet! Now I admit to watching (probably more than) my fair share of Real World marathons, but I grew up with that shit. This Survivor, The Bachelor, All American Girl stuff has got to go. And have you seen Are You Hot? Can the world get anymore shallow? Reality Tv would not exist without the almost-naked female body. Why is are these things always on tropical islands? I want to see Survivor-Antartica, but that won't ever happen. And not to mention that the almost-naked-female bodies are not anything like what the average clmost-naked-female body looks like.
And not to mention that we have play-by-play on the war. It is like the ultimate reality show.

Ok I'm just bitching.Been fun talking to you, Cyberspace. Time to go eat.

2003-04-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

I am grouchy. I don't know why cause it is a beautiful day and I didn't have to work, but i am grouchy anyways....

The stupid war sucks.

I think I need my own apartment. I have been staying with my parents since graduation, But now I am getting really tired of it. I need to be on my own. I Love my family and all that, and they really don't bother me, but I just need to start doing my own thing.Like I miss going to the grocery store and having my friends over. I still do these things but it is just not the same. I am giving myself a month....I gotta get outta here...

Remeber The State? that show on MTV that was on in middle school (early 90's) There were those guys that stuck there butts in the pudding, and and doug who said "I'm outta heeere..." and off course the guy who said "I wanna dip my balls in it!" A lot of people seem to say that one without really knowing where it came from. Anyways, that show rocked. I hate how they always take the rockin shows off the air...The State, My So Called Life, and Seinfeld have to go , but shows like Witchblade and Fear Factoer stay on tv. And what is the freekin deal with reality television. Not only is it a totally twisted view of reality and single handedly undoing the feminist movement, it is unavoidable. Now I admit to watching (probably more than) my fair share of Real World marathons, but I grew up with that shit. This Survivor, The Bachelor, All American Girl stuff has got to go. And have you seen Are You Hot? Can the world get anymore shallow? Reality Tv would not exist without the almost-naked female body. Why is are these things always on tropical islands? I want to see Survivor-Antartica, but that won't ever happen. And not to mention that the almost-naked-female bodies are not anything like what the average clmost-naked-female body looks like.
And not to mention that we have play-by-play on the war. It is like the ultimate reality show.

Ok I'm just bitching. Time to go eat.

2003-03-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

I had an adventure today...an adventure with a pomeranian..As I was leaving work today, a small and determined (and poofy) little dog came charging through the door. I figured either the dog was lost, or in need of monkey wallpaper (but that didn't seem likely). She was very sweet and wanted me to pick her up. I knew this was an old lady kind of dog...she smelled clean and there were no tangles in her massive coat. She was thirsty. Somehow she became my responsiblity and I spent the next two hours with her riding shotgun in my car, trying to figure out where she came from. It was a hassle, but kind of fun. She was my buddy. I temporarily named her Chopper.

Finally I gave up and came home to a message on my answering machine from the rightful owner of this cool-ass dog. "Oh well Chopper, you don't get to spend the night." I told her. She frowned, and growled at my dog, and we got back in the car for the millionth time.
Now this was the kind of well-taken care of kind of dog that looks like it never even goes outside.I pictured white haired ladies clutching soggy kleenex and sitting by the phone. So naturally I was thinking there was tearful reunion about to happen, and then I could feel great about bringing these two lost souls back together again. But no. Oh no. I got a near-sullen "Thanks for finding her" as small kids screamed in the background. (No wonder Chopper was seeking refuge from this stressful enviroment!) I was hoping for a dramatic and joyful scene. Thats how I would be, if I were to lose my dog....

Oh well. I miss Chopper. Her name was Peaches, but I like Chopper better.

Today I also realized that chess pie is gross. Don't eat it, it sucks.

2003-03-24T21:56:00.000-08:00

First of all, why have scrunchies gone out of style? Ok, I know they are floofy and ugly and they come in colors of all the holidays. They may be what the fashionably uninformed are made of, but those things are really good for your hair. I have one that I pull my hair back when I am sleeping or washing my face, and it feels so much better than the skinny rubber bands that rip my hair out of my skull on a daily basis. I think it is time to bring what should be a timeless hairpiece back in to style. We can also bring with it tight rolled jeans and stone wash! No, those two have to stay away, but I am keeping all my old scrunchies just in case.

What is it about the female body that is so captivating? Besides the fact that it is the source of all life, I mean. The female body and the stigmas attatched to it intrigue me. Especially in our current society. What is it that gives us all such distorted ideas of what is beautiful or sexy? I watched the swimsuit part of Miss USA tonite. Those chicks are so tiny..and packin so much heat in the chest area! I bet none of those were real....

It is interesting to me how males and females are obsessed with the perfect female body. Both of them want to have it, possess it, obviously in different ways. I have major issues with the way female bodies are distorted in the media. It really upsets me, because I have seen the way it has affected so many women, and I see how it affects myself. It is so frustrating that from such a young age our bodies are something we have to struggle to love. I realized my body sometime in 8th grade, and I haven't lost awareness of it's every curve, roll, muscle or buldge since. I have stood in the mirror and critiqued most days of my adult life. My girl friends and I discuss our bodies in great detail. It seems to be a battle between body and conciousness. I know that this is the only body I will ever have and I should love the hell out of it, and accept it no matter what. Why is this so hard? And is it like this for all women, because it is for almost all of the ones I know well. And it is infuriating to know why I feel this way. An impossibe standard has been set. Movies, tv, newspaper, clothes, newcasters, everything depicts an unrealistic female image.

I feel like since I can easily point out the major reasons why I have body issues, then it should be easy to let them go. I know I am a small girl. I have never had any complaints about my size. Although I have gotten lots of postive feedback in the times I have lost a few pounds. Why should I care? I don't know, but somehow I do. It is easy, everyone else does too. I know it is retarded and stupid and fueling the fire of everything I hate, but I might as well admit it here, that I am a big hypocrite.

Enough size talk. This is a constant topic of mine so I could go on forever.

A more humorous and uplifting story--the other day my dog escaped from my backyard and later whined from the wrong side of the fence to get in. Mysteriously, he had brought home an unopened package of hotdogs! I guess he wanted to bring home dinner...but we threw them away. Then he had to get a bath so it really wasn't his day. poor Murphy. Who knows where he got those hotdogs though....

well I must go get my beauty sleep. no work tomorrow!

My Favorite thing about today...
potato burritos and mocha chip ice cream

If there are major spelling mistakes, well I just don't care......!

2003-03-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

o-kee do-kee! I have a blog! funny because just a few days ago I was uncertain on what a blog was. funny. Now I have a place to blah blah about everything on my mind and probably no one will ever read it. I don't have the patience for all that diary writing (handwriting?) I used to do, so this is good. Plus it makes me feel so computer-literate! (is there spell check on this thing????)

I wonder if I should tell people that I have this little blog thingy? Then they might read it and I might get paranoid. Right now I feel as if I am talking to some inivisble faceless people in cyberspace...I kinda like it like this..but I will for sure have to tell people so they can see these cute little kitties....

I feel obligated to do some commentary on the war and current world situation, but no thank you. I have watched the news all week and talked about it all week and this is my first real entry in my first real weblog on a sunday evening so war talk can wait until next time. I guess I could talk about the Academy Awards but I'm not watching them and I'm really not worried about what anyone is wearing, although usually I like that kinda thing. I never see the movies, so I never watch the real show, just the red carpet part. I only saw Frieda, which I heard wouldn't win anything anyway. That was a really really good movie though.

so, I do not really know anything about blogs, I have read maybe 5 before, I don't know what purpose they serve. I just like to write about things that are on my mind and not really worry about if they make sense or sound stupid. Maybe I shouldn't have made this thing public..I hate to proofread. Do people read these things? Who knows....

My favorite things about sundays...

raking leaves
shopping at target
dancing and singing really loud to early 90's hip hop hits when other people go to church
clean sheets and clothes for the new week (but not the washing them part)
frischs breakfast bar
mud masks and bubble baths with all the fixin's
adult swim cartoons

2003-03-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

test test test test!!!